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19 January 2011

Preferences vs. Priorities Pt. 1





Dating. Whoa is me. Geez louise. In the "dating game" again, whatever that means. Dating is tedious, too many facades, too much money spent on useless people who are misrepresenting themselves on every level. Daters who have no time to date yet want to bother me with phone calls. Men who don't know how to hold a decent conversation. Arrggghh! 
Carrie Bradshaw love lesson #1: 
When someone shows you who he really is pay attention. If a guy misrepresents himself the first time he meets you, avoid getting involved. A man that leads you on and then pushes you away is not worth your time.

Anywho, enough ranting, I have been talking to several gentlemen over the past few weeks. Some okay, others not so much. I am trying to have a new outlook on how I should handle the dating life. I have never been the type to settle for anything or anyone nor did I ever lack potential men to date, at the same time, I never thought I would be single at 30. Go figure! But here I am. As I date potential prospects, I don't feel as though I am settling I do however have to prioritize my needs, wants, and desires. I am not getting any younger and I do have a plan for my life so I have to begin dating men that fit my priorities and not my preferences. What does that mean for me? Well, simply I can't make excuses for the lack of drive or motivation a man exhibits, shallowness can no longer be attractive, bad attitudes cannot be fixed neither can issues he may still be holding onto from previous relationships, physical attraction cannot be the defining factor in continuing a relationship, and I have to think about my life in relation to marriage, family, and career. 
Insert Carrie Bradshaw love lesson #2 here:  No one is perfect. Just because someone looks good on the surface doesn’t mean he or she will be a good mate. Look for the innate qualities that will only grow with time.

So, prospect number one is about fourteen years older than me and he is established, has a career, but he is divorced (there's a problem there for me, I'll tell you why later). Sadly, I have to keep reminding myself about my priorities. This is such a new concept for me. It makes so much sense though. I'm trying something different, something new and hopefully my thoughts of "what if" don't ruin the possibility of a good thing. So far he is not demanding, there is no drama, and he listens. But, that "D" word lingers in my mind every time I talk to him.
I'll keep you posted.

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